i fucking hate u, but i love u

i dream of you on my loneliest nights and cry for you on my saddest days.

i’m hopelessly in love with you.

and i continue to fall every single day.

i catch myself thinking about you in random situations

and i still smile each time you say my name.

i remember the first time you said you loved me

and i want every day to be like that day.

i remember falling for you before even seeing your face

and im dying of wanting to be with you

and it hurts so much that i can’t wait

but i do love you the way you say good night when it still a bright day

i love our talks even tho no one says it that way

i love your voice even tho i not always understand what you say

i love you even tho

you’re hurting me in so many ways


writing about motivation for once?

I don’t have to do amazing things to be important. I don’t have to be the best in everything I do. I can do whatever I want to do because the success of other people does not decrease mine. The beauty of other women does not cancel mine. There will only ever be one of me that exists ever, and even if I don’t do amazing things I’m still the best me I can be. I can always try to be better than I was yesterday.

I know life can be painful and that I can be tired of everything and feel completely lost sometimes. I know it all may seem a chaos I’m living in. There are problems and questions and patterns and pain almost everywhere and I’m constantly afraid of failing.

I believed that admitting my fragility is showing vulnerability and that means losing control. Perhaps, showing my flaws and being vulnerable can be an act of courage.

It needs courage to fail big and stick around, and make them wonder why you’re still smiling. Let them see you’re the best you that no one will ever be.

There’s so much life and I’m so inspired by the earth because I’ve seen and lived so much bad shit and I’ve been through so much but the earth keeps turning and the grass keeps growing and the rivers keep flowing like things are gonna be okay, and I know everything’s gonna be okay. And I keep trying to be the best I can be and I am so proud of the better self I’m becoming.

the time you asked me what love is

i think love is when something cool happens and you can’t wait to tell a person about it.

when you want to hear every little detail of their day i think that’s a pretty good sign too.

comfortable silences.

feeling warm when you listen them laughing.

if the little things about them make your heart melting and you think about them before falling asleep.

you never tired of listening.

i don’t really believe in love at first sight.

i believe you meet someone and you identify with them and suddenly one day you wake up and realize you see them differently now than you did the night before.

to me that is growing love.

that is actually falling for someone and i find the concept of growing love for someone way more prettier than “love at first sight”.

i consider myself someone that loves a lot, because in general i feel too much.

but that’s how i see love. you grow love for someone and one day you realize is bigger than you thought and that feeling fills your heart entirely.